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Monday, February 28, 2011

What a precious song, and what a blessing to know that even though I can't hold my baby, God can. All the sadness in the world can't mask the feeling of peace I have knowing God is in control and that he's not only holding my little one, but he's holding me as well.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Dealing With Our Loss

As I sit here today trying to put into words what we've been through over the last few days, I find it's easier to sit and stare at a blank screen.  I know I need to write/talk about it, but it's so hard to put what I feel into words. I know many people are wondering what happened so I guess the best way to start is with the facts.

We found out we were expecting in January and were extremely excited.  The timing couldn't have been better.  We went to the doctor and everything looked great except my progesterone levels were really low which concerned the doctor.  She immediately started me on 200 mg of Promethium ( a progesterone replacement) and told me to take that until I was 12 weeks along.  We had a sonogram and the baby was healthy and had a good, steady heartbeat. She scheduled another sonogram appointment to check on the baby 2 weeks from then.

We finally decided to tell everyone about the baby when I was 10 weeks along.  I started to show really quickly with this pregnancy, and it was becoming difficult to fit into my clothes.  We figured people would start figuring out what was going on soon if we didn't say something so we decided to tell the girls first.  They were so excited.  Presley kept screaming over and over again, "I'm going to be a big sister!"  Both girls have been asking me to have a baby for MONTHS now, and we just kept telling them that God would give us a baby when He was ready. 

The day after announcing our pregnancy, I started spotting.  I immediately knew something was wrong, but when I called the Dr.'s office, they told me not to worry because spotting with mild cramping was a common side effect of the Promethium.  The spotting eventually went away, and I breathed a sigh of relief and went on about the day.  By that evening, the spotting was back and heavier (though only occurring when I used the restroom), and I was starting to cramp.  I spent the rest of the night in bed.  I called the clinic again and spoke with an after-hours nurse who advised me to go to the hospital.  Wayne and I talked about it and decided that since I had an appointment already scheduled on Friday that we'd just try to wait it out and see our own Dr.  I am so glad we made this decision now, but at 3:00 am on Friday morning when the cramping was becoming quite painful, I wasn't so sure it was a good idea!

On Friday morning, we arrived at the clinic as soon as they opened.  I explained what was going on to the nurse, and they took us back for a sonogram.  I had prepared myself for the worst beforehand, but seeing the look on the sonogram tech's face and the fact that she didn't say a word to us confirmed my worst fears.  As we were leaving the room, I glanced over at my file and the pictures the tech had just taken and saw that my baby was still there (and had grown) so my only thought was that the baby's heart must not have been beating.  As Wayne and I sat waiting for the Dr., we discussed this and surprisingly, neither of us were emotional but rather matter-of-fact about the fact that the baby was dead.

When the Dr. came in, she confirmed that the baby's heart was no longer beating and that the sac around the baby had started to collapse.  She recommended we have a D&C and asked us if we had any questions.  Looking back now, I think we must have been in a state of shock at that moment, even though both of us were prepared and even expected this outcome, because we kind of just drifted down the hallway to another office as they scheduled the procedure.  We left the clinic and drove over to the hospital, parked, and just sat there in the parking lot.  I think it was this moment that the realization of what we were about to do hit us, and I just completely lost it.  I remember apologizing to Wayne for throwing a pity party for myself and trying to get myself together before we left the car.  I asked Wayne to call our parents because I knew I couldn't.  I am so glad that he was able to be strong for us because we would never have made it otherwise.  He called everyone while we stood in the parking lot, and when he began to cry, I lost it again. 

Every step we took toward that hospital was a fight especially when I really just wanted to run as far away from there as I could.  Keeping my emotions in check was a struggle all in itself.  Luckily, they took us quickly back to a room.  I had some amazing nurses who were sympathetic and caring.  They rushed us through all the blood work, and within an hour or so I was in holding for surgery.  It seemed like every single person who came to speak to me (nurses, anesthesiologist, etc.) would ask me if I knew why I was there and what procedure I was having done, and I remember thinking if one more person asks me that question I will come unglued.  It was all I could do to keep myself from sobbing as it was.  When they wheeled me into surgery and were preparing me for anesthesia, I remember thinking, Thank God, please just knock me out so I don't have to think or feel anymore.  Before I fell asleep, the sweetest nurse leaned close to my ear and said, "We are so sorry for your loss.  We will take good care of you, and this will all be over soon." Tears began to fall at that moment because all I could think was if only it were that easy-this will never be over for me. I must have fallen asleep at that moment because the next thing I remember is waking up in recovery.

When I woke up, I immediately noticed the pain was gone, and I felt a tremendous relief.  I didn't dwell on the sadness of our situation, I just wanted to go home.  We had the best care at the hospital and the nurses were amazing, caring, and sympathetic.  I never expected to be there all day lol, and I can honestly say by 5:00 pm the only thing on my mind was getting out of there and getting home.  The calls, texts, and emails I received while I was waiting to be discharged were very appreciated.  Thank you to all who showed us your love and support during such a difficult time.

The car ride home was emotional for us as well because we now had to decide how best to tell our little girls about the baby.  I think having to tell them hurt me more than the actual loss of the baby because I knew how badly they wanted this baby, and I knew it would be a huge disappointment for them.  We were able to make it through telling them, and we spent the remainder of the night cuddling with our girls and just spending time together as a family.  Wayne and I were so thankful to be able to come home to our girls.  Just knowing God has blessed us with two children already was a comfort.  I don't know how we would have handled this if we would have had to come home to an empty house. 

We know God has a purpose and plan for our lives, we know He had a reason for this, and while we don't understand it, we know everything will be alright.  With that said, we do want to thank you for your thoughts and prayers.  They are definitely needed and felt.  We're all doing fine and taking one day at a time.  We love you all.

Wayne, Jessica, Makenzie, and Presley

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Oh The FUN We've Had!

We've had lots of fun with friends and cousins this week! Monday Makenzie was out of school so we took advantage of that and the 70 degree weather and had a playdate at the park with Addie.  The girls had a great time playing on the slides and the swings and DID NOT want to leave.  It got so windy that we HAD to leave or freeze to death, but we still had 3 pouty little girls!





Then, yesterday, our cousins came for a visit, and the girls were thrilled to spend some time with them.  Presley and the cousins had lunch together at Mamaw and Papaw's and rode Emma Grace and Ellie Kate's battery-powered 4-wheeler until it couldn't go anymore and had to be charged again! They fed the horse an apple, and Emerson even petted the horse!





We picked up Makenzie and headed back to our house for more fun!  Thanks for a fun day girls! Wish we had them more often.




Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Facebook Fan Page

Ramblings has a new Facebook fan page! We've joined up with


in hopes of adding some new followers so feel free to join in the fun!  Leave a comment letting me know you're a new facebook follower, and I'll be glad to follow you back.  Don't forget to visit the other fan pages in the linky as well! 



Thursday, February 17, 2011

St. Patty's Day CASH PRIZE Giveaway!!






Yep! You have your chance of winning $110 cash via paypal on St. Patrick's Day, March 17th. I've teamed up with nine other bloggers to help give you one awesome prize. CASH! Who doesn't love cash? You have 84 possible entries for this contest and we have provided an easy form to submit your entries below.



*There are no mandatory entries, but the more entries you do, the greater your chance of winning! You must submit all your entries on the form below for them to count. Each blog will display the form in their post or a link to the form to make it easier to submit your entries.*


1. Follow Heather from Mommy Only Has Two Hands on GFC. You must leave her a comment on this post for your entry to count and you  must add your entry to the google documents form below. An easy way to find the post is to look for their Cash Prize Giveaway Button, click on it and it will link you to their post.  (1 Entry)

2. Follow Tiffany from Wyatt Family Farm on GFC. You must leave her a comment on this post for your entry to count and you  must add your entry to the google documents form.  (Must leave comment and fill out form, 1 Entry)

3. Follow Monique from Arms of A Sister on GFC. You must leave her a comment on this post for your entry to count and you must add your entry to the google documents form. (Must leave comment and fill out form, 1 Entry)

4. Follow Jennifer from  I'm Not Super Woman on GFC. You must leave her a comment on this post for your entry to count and you must add your entry to the google documents form. (Must leave comment and fill out form, 1 Entry)

5. Follow Ellie From A Little of This And A Little of That on GFC. You must leave her a comment on this post for your entry to count and you must add your entry to the google documents form. (Must leave comment and fill out form, 1 Entry)

6. Follow Jennifer at Crafting in The Corners on GFC. You must leave her a comment on this post for your entry to count and you must add your entry to the google documents form. (Must leave comment and fill out form, 1 Entry)

7. Follow Jessica from Ramblings Of A Stay-at-home Mom on GFC. You must leave her a comment on this post for your entry to count and you must add your entry to the google documents form. (Must leave comment and fill out form, 1 Entry)

8. Follow Shari from One Grown Two to Go on GFC. You must leave her a comment on this post for your entry to count and you must add your entry to the google documents form.  (Must leave comment and fill out form, 1 Entry)

9. Follow Julie from Sharing Savings With You on GFC. You must leave her a comment on this post for your entry to count and you must add your entry to the google documents form. (Must leave comment and fill out form, 1 Entry)

10. Follow Paola from Domestic Diva In The Making on GFC. You must leave her a comment on this post for your entry to count and you must add your entry to the google documents form. (Must leave comment and fill out form, 1 Entry)

11. Become a Member of MommyTLC and leave a comment on this blog post below saying you are a member and with what name you signed up with. We will confirm it with the owner of MommyTLC. (must fill out form below for entry to count, 1 entry)


12. (Worth 3 entries, fill form out each time for each entry.)



Button to Display on Your blog!





$100 Cash!




13. You can tweet/facebook this giveaway up to 3 times per day. You can use the tweet this button at the top. (Must provide URL to tweet and enter it into the form each time)

14. You can blog about this giveaway (worth 5 entries, provide URL of post or page in entry form. Fill it out 5 times.)

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Pressman Toy Chimp and Zee Shopping Cart Dash Review

Sadly, I've had to be away from my blog for a couple of days due to no internet service caused by someone accidentally cutting the phone line.  However, in the meantime the girls and I were able to play and have a great time.  My girls have really gotten into playing games of all kinds lately.  They play their leapsters in the car, they love board games, and they love any active game we can play outside as well.  Recently, we were sent a game to review from Pressman, and since Mommy couldn't get on the internet lol, what better time to try it out!

Chimp and Zee Shopping Cart Dash came in a cute box with a carrying handle.  From the moment it arrived, my girls were excited to open it up and give it a try!

I have to say, this was one of the easiest games to set up!  I pulled everything out of the box, and the kids went to work putting it together.  The girls' cousin, Hillaree, was over for a play-date so she pitched in to help too!  They had no trouble getting everything set up while I read the directions out to them. 



This game is for ages 3 and up ( my girls are 5 and 3 1/2), and it was very easy for them to catch on.  The pieces fit together like a puzzle and form a square.  Each child (up to 4 players) receives a 3D shopping cart on wheels that they can push around the board.  There is a stand that goes in the middle containing pictures of  items from each food group.  Each food group is assigned a corresponding color.  Each child is given a shopping list that shows a colored dot followed by a matching food item.

On each child's turn, they roll the dice and move the amount of spaces indicated.  They land on a colored space and then check their shopping list to see which food group item they have that goes with that color.  They then search the "food stand" for their food item, pay for the item, and put it in their shopping cart.  Play continues until a child has all 6 food group items in their cart and has returned to his/her starting space.





This game is GREAT, and the girls had so much fun playing it that we had to play it several times in a row! I loved that it incorporated colors, counting, matching, food groups, etc.  Any learning game is a plus in my book!

So, if you're looking for a fun, educational game for your little ones, be sure to check out Shopping Cart Dash!  You can learn more about Pressman Toy products here, and you can find Pressman Toy products (and Shopping Cart Dash) at Barnes & Noble or Amazon.com just to name a couple of places!

*No compensation was received for this review. I received a free product, but the opinions are my honest evaluation of the product and were not influenced by any other factors of any kind.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

New Winner for the Organo Gold Giveaway!

I'm sad to say that I never heard back from the first winner chosen by random.org for the coffee.  Therefore, after waiting 48 hours, we are choosing a new winner!  Yay for those of you who entered! 

The new winner is #9

Lovinangel !!!!

Congratulations!!! I will be emailing you shortly so please email me back with your address within the next 48 hours.

Also, don't forget that Audrey is offering FREE samples of your coffee flavor of choice to any who'd like them.  Just email me at jessi001@bellsouth.net with your address, and she'll get them sent right out to you!

Thanks to everyone who participated!

Jessica

Friday, February 11, 2011

A Fancy Tea Party for Fancy Little Girls

Makenzie and Presley's friend Ella invited them to a tea party today, and the girls had so much fun!  I let them pick out the dresses they wanted to wear, got out their "tea" hats, curled their hair, painted their fingernails, and put on a little blush and lipstick.  Have I mentioned how much I LOVE having little girls! Oh the fun we have!

We arrived at Ella's to a beautifully decorated table.  Her Mommy does such a great job with things like this.  She even used her real china. 



And take a look at this cake! 



This was Makenzie's place setting.



Ella's Mommy read the girls a story while they ate.



Such sweet, sweet girls!






Thanks Ella for such a GREAT time!




Thursday, February 10, 2011

More Snow Pics

Oh how they've enjoyed the snow!


They built a tiny snowman this morning all by themselves, and they were so proud of it.


Then they had a big snowball fight at Uncle Brad's house.

You should have heard the giggles! Love, love, love it when my girls are having fun together!

Snow...again!

We got about 5 inches of snow last night, and Presley couldn't stand NOT getting to play in it.  Makenzie was exhausted and not feeling too well so I put her to bed, and then presley and I went outside to play for a bit.

Sorry the pics are so dark.  It was after 9 pm, and I was using my cellphone camera.

Making a snow angel...she'd never made one before and wanted to give it a try!


I think she did a pretty awesome job! How pretty!




We Have a Winner!!


The Winner of the Organo Gold Giveaway has been determined!

For some reason I can't get this to post onto the blog correctly, it keeps wanting to just generate so if anyone can give me some pointers on posting this with the correct numbers, I'd appreciate it!

The winner is #2!

Congratulations to Momma of 3!!!
 
She said, "I think I would try the mocha or even the hot chocolate...yummo."
 
I've emailed the winner, and she has 24 hours to respond or a new winner will be determined.
 
Thanks to all who participated in this giveaway!!
 
Exciting News: 
 
Audrey wants to thank all those who participated, and she has agreed to send you all some samples of Organo Gold for you to try!
 
If you'd like your samples, please email me your address at jessi001@bellsouth.net
 
Jessica









Tuesday, February 8, 2011

A Day at the Salon...

Ok...maybe not a day lol, but certainly an hour! I took the girls to get haircuts today after picking Makenzie up from school. They LOVE getting to see their Aunt KK at Deja Vu (because she spoils them!).  Neither of my girls ever had any trouble jumping up in the chair to get a haircut.  They were never afraid nor have they ever cried, thank God!  They really absolutely love it!


While Makenzie just got a trim today, Presley actually got 3 inches chopped off of her hair.  It had gotten so long that it was becoming one big tangled mess, and I personally, am a fan of healthy looking hair so some of it had to go!  Luckily, Presley didn't object, and by the time Aunt KK was finished, Presley was going on and on about how pretty her hair was.  It does look super cute, but it also makes her look older :(




All smiles--she LOVES it and Mommy does too!

Wednesday Blog Hop:








Monday, February 7, 2011

Lightening the Load by Julie Clinton

I read this today, and I just had to share this with you all.  Enjoy!


Excerpts from:
Lightening the Load
By: Julie Clinton

It is impossible to get exhausted in work for God.  We get exhausted because we try to do God's work in our own way.
-Oswald Chambers

I can't tell you the number of times I've done something by myself because I bought into the idea that "if you want it done right, do it yourself."  Or the number of times I was too proud to ask for help because I thought I would seem less capable.  And sometimes I refused to let others help because doing so would mean losing total control.

When we try to do too many things or refuse help from others, our lives become more imbalanced.  And for most Americans, exhaustion has become an epidemic.
  • Workplace stress costs more than $300 billion each year in health care,  missed work, and stress reduction.
  • Americans work more than 1800 hours on the job a year-350 hours more than Germans and slightly more than Japanese.
  • More than 30 percent of workers say they are "always" or "often" under stress at work.  A quarter of those surveyed in 2002 said they often did not have enough coworkers to get the job done.
  • The average European worker gets four to six weeks of vacation per year compared to the average two weeks of vacation for their America counterparts.

So what can you do to lighten your load?

Know your limits.  Never let your schedule get so out of control that you can no longer manage it.  do a personal inventory.  Are you getting enough sleep?  Spending enough time with your children? Your significant other?  Learn to recognize the physical, emotional, and mental warning signals your body emits at the brink of exhaustion.

Know God's will.  God's will is for you to "pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all" (1 Thessalonians 5:15 NKJV).  It's not to scramble around frantically to make sure every task is completed by the end of the day, wearing out both you and those around you.  If you're constantly living with an agitated heart, you are not in the center of God's will.

Know when to quit.  Jesus never spent His time and energy the way we do today.  The Bible gives no indication that He worked around the clock.  In fact, in many cases Jesus snuck off alone to pray and rest.  Being in God's will, Jesus was able to go to sleep without having healed and saved everybody in Israel.

Know what's important.  Knowing your priorities will help you accomplish more even when you feel as if you're doing less.  Effectiveness is not about quantity and getting a lot done; it's about the quality of what you are doing and understanding that the Holy Spirit is ultimately responsible for multiplying your efforts.

I don't know what you're wrestling with in your life that might be too heavy for you to bear.  But I do know that right now, somewhere in your life, some people are just waiting for you to ask them to help you.  Maybe a friend can give you a break from care-giving responsibilities.  Or a supervisor will assure that your work gets done as you go through chemotherapy and radiation. 

Only you know what's weighing you down.  But Jesus stands ready to help you figure out how to lighten your load, and He has placed people in your life to assist you.  All you have to do is ask.

Much Love,

Jessica

Blog Hop:

Friday, February 4, 2011

Friday Finds Giveaway Hop

Looking for some exciting giveaways to enter?  Well, look no further!  Rachel's Reviews and Giveaways has posted this blog hop for those interested in sharing their giveaways so make sure you head over and take a look and maybe even join in the fun!  Good luck everyone!


What is "ME" Time?

"Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away.
-Barbara De Angeles

Isn't this the truth?!?  Ever feel like you have to go hide in your closet for 10 minutes just to have time by yourself?  I do!  And even when I do that I have someone outside the door banging on it and yelling Mama!!!  There's always some crisis that needs to be taken care of RIGHT NOW.  If it's not the kids, it's the hubby.  Sometimes I just feel like saying Mommy is off duty! Go find someone else to fix your toy, wipe your hiney, clean up your mess, (insert your own drama). 


Photo courtesy of Google Images

In those times of frustration, I often rely heavily on God to give me strength (and patience) to get through the moment (or the day for that matter!).  I take my 10 minute break, and I take a deep breath.  I gather myself and then walk out of that closet with my head held high ready to tackle the problem (or child lol) at hand.  And after a particularly stressful week, I might even reward myself with a mani and/or pedi compliments of my sweet hubby! Ha!

Seriously, all Moms should take some time for themselves as often as possible.  That quiet time we have alone gives us time to reflect, regroup, and rejuvinate.  It not only helps with your sanity, but it will make you a better Mom in the process.

Take some time for yourself today!

Jessica

Blog Hops:

Stalk Hop Friday



Born2Impress Blog Hop





Thursday, February 3, 2011

What Are You Afraid Of?

In an article from Bowling Green State University that I came across, "The Top Ten Fears That Keep People from Getting What They Want in Life" are listed as:
  1. fear of failing
  2. fear of success
  3. fear of being judged
  4. fear of emotional pain
  5. fear of embarrassment
  6. fear of being alone/abandoned
  7. fear of rejection
  8. fear of expressing our true feelings
  9. fear of intimacy
  10. fear of the unknown
Which of these is your biggest fear if any?  For me, it would definitely be fear of the unknown.  I'm not really someone who does well with change.  I almost have to be thrown into a new experience and then deal with it than to make the decision on my own lol.  I'm trying to do better with this though!

Thursday Blog Hops:

”"

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Organo Gold Review and Giveaway

I LOVE to drink coffee, and I will definitely have a cup when it is offered to me; however, I can't drink coffee without adding a TON of sugar so I limit myself!  I was recently asked to review coffee from Organo Gold, and of course, I jumped at the chance.  Audrey with Organo Gold sent me over the Gourmet Latte to try since she knows I prefer my coffee sweet.  Having not used instant coffee very often, I was a little apprehensive, but after taking the first sip, I couldn't believe it was instant!  It was smooth and creamy and tasted great.  It also gave me a LOT of energy.

Organo Gold Coffee contains Organic Ganoderma so it's natural and healthy while also providing the following benefits:

  • Supports and builds the Immune System.
  • Oxygenates the Body
  • Boosts stamina
  • Packed with over 150 all-natural antioxidants that fight free radicals
  • Improves blood circulation
  • Promotes younger skin (GanoDERMA)
  • Promotes cell rejuvenation
  • More energy
  • A powerful detoxifyer for the body
  • Promotes deeper and more enjoyable sleep
  • Promotes sexual stamina
Enjoying a great, healthy coffee drink that will help you feel your best is a huge plus in my book!  Want to try some of this great coffee yourself?  Visit Audrey's website at http://www.audreytrulove.organogold.com/ and purchase a box.  There are several great flavors to choose from including black, latte, mocha, hot chocolate, and green tea to name a few.

Giveaway!!

Audrey has sweetly offered up a box of coffee for one of my lucky readers!  Each box contains 15-30 packets of coffee and is a $30 value!

How to Enter:

Want to win?  It's easy! 

Mandatory Entry:

Simply, follow this blog via GFC.  Leave a message to let me know you're here, and
visit Audrey's website here and let me know which type of coffee you'd like to try.

Optional Entries:

Post about this giveaway on your blog.
Post about this giveaway on Facebook.
Post about this giveaway on Twitter.

Please be sure to leave the facebook, blog link, or twitter name that you posted the giveaway to.

Make sure to leave separate comments for each entry and always include your email address in the entry.  Any entry without an email address will be disqualified.

The giveaway will end on midnight February 9, 2011.  Winner will be chosen by http://www.random.org/ and will be notified by email.  Winner has 48 hours to respond or another winner will be randomly chosen.

Good luck!!

Disclosure:  No monetary incentive was received for this review.  All opinions are 100% mine and may not be the same as yours.

Happy Groundhog Day and Wednesday Blog Hops!

Happy Groundhog Day!



Good news! Phil DID NOT see his shadow this morning...yay! Spring is on the way!  Oh I sure hope he's right.  I'm so tired of all this wintery weather.  I need some sunshine and warm temps around here!  The good news...Phil has been right 24 out of 30 times. 

Here are some Wednesday Blog hops that I'll be participating in today.  Link up and meet some new friends!

Jessica

Blogging Hints Catch a Wave Wednesday






 
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